What do they wash their face with?

When I was a teenager it was all cucumber facial peel masks and Twilight Teazer lipstick.  You only scrubbed your face if you happen to fall off your bike on to the road.  Skincare was just Witch Hazel or your Mum's Nivea or Oil of Ulay if you really wanted to go 'luxury.'  I wasn't sure what the jig was with puberty and boys, of course when I was 13 I never ever looked at a boy of my own age, they were juvenile and smelled of musty bottoms.  I was way ahead in the puberty steaks and would have been mortified is such a pubescent peasant even talked to me. 

No7 Twilight Teaser - 80's Must Have

So now having said 13 year old son I can see those girls in his year walking down this same path.  They look like mini super-models, all long legs and billowing hair, even I'm intimidated.  I had pretty good skin during my teenage years, not like some friends who were battered by the acne stick.  And how other kids were so deeply cruel, I remember tripping another girl up on purpose once because she had been so heart crunching vile to one of my friends whose skin was bad (that friend no longer has spots and looks younger than me now)  There is a ton of stuff for girls to use to wash their face, but not a lot for the teenage boys.  He just wants to wash his face, not burn off a layer with a medicated facial wash or scrub.  Plus washing your face with just soap is hardly worth it. 

Good skin care is in the same category as good general health and well being but I can't understand why the teenage girl skincare market is so well catered for but the teenage boy skincare market presumes they are all splattered with grease, spots and pimples.  Type in 'teenage skin washing' into Google and only pictures of girls come up.   So far he likes the Simple range because it just washes his face and it does not want to go to war in his epidermis.  The skincare giants of the world are definately missing a big boy shaped trick with this; L'Oreal have Hugh Lawrie and McDreamy advertsing men's skincare, but they late 40's early 50's.  What happens from the ages of 13 - 49?

Batteries and rechargers

My teenage son's life is all about the recharge.  The recharge for his iphone, his ipad, the recharge for his portable chargers and his batteries for his X-Box to be recharged, not to mention the sleep he needs to be recharged and not a narky swine.   Tori Spelling was rumoured to have a gift wrapping room in her Hollywood mansion, I need a re-charging room in my semi detached.

What makes me most crazy is when I schlep out of bed in the morning and flick on my cute little pink DAB radio only to hear silence as he's nicked the batteries, again.  I need a mix of Absolute 80's/Radio 5 Live to get me started in the morning.  We have two battery rechargers and several rechargeable batteries, to turn over from uncharged to charged should be simple, but seems like it just too much hassle to put empty batteries in to charge.  Much less hassle to piss Mum off first thing due to lack of Wham and a detailed weather forecast.  So i've painted four batteries with pink nail polish as a deterrent.  Will it work?  Who knows but it is worth the try, the mornings are getting darker and I need Andrew and George to help me.

Summer Hols

After the freedom of the Summer hols I always feel so mean shoving their free, brown, feral feet back into black leather school schools which according to my teen 'feel like bloody concrete blocks'  Said concrete blocks are a pair of sized 10 £85 Clarks men's shoes.  We've tried cheaper brands but they never last, they fall apart and are just plain crap in comparison; no Aldi alternatives when it comes to school shoes.

'Family time' is a much used bullshit phrase to try and make you feel guilty about not having Kodak/Ahh Bisto moments each week.  I'll tell you what family times means on holiday, it means two weeks of all being in the same room together because its cheaper!  This way you get to know each other more, inside and out, including yelling at each other to hurry up as you need the loo and being the only female in the household you can't just pee in a cup in the kitchen.

My boys made me laugh me head off as well as did my head in during our two weeks driving about France.  My teen held my hand in the midst of the biggest, wildest, loudest thunder and lightening storm I've ever seen.  He was laughing at me because I was genuinely scared, my boys were not, but I loved the fact he grabbed my hand to comfort me at the same time.  He did my head in because he was always hungry and he always wanted to be up, out and about doing something.  And for this I thank the international language of football, which on Ile De Re, he played with Italian, French and German boys each and every afternoon.  With some (literally) schoolboy German they all managed to communicate well enough to have a great time.  Even my 8 year old was in goal and was called 'De Gea' by his international team mates which made him beam from ear to ear.

We saw Notre Dame (13 yo -Mum, it's massive!)  went to the Louvre (8yo -Mum, why was everyone sad and naked in the olden days?) and looked at Anish Kapoors giant vagina art in Versailles (no comment from either child).  (Both - Can we have another Nutella crepe?)  When we got home I asked the boys which bit they liked the best and both unanimously said 'being at the very front of the car ferry on the way home when the ramp was put down in Dover and being first off the boat.'  Mechanics and engerneeering trumps thousands of years of arts and culture, so be it.
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I'm Tired

God I'm tired.  Not sure if I've got end of term-itus but I am dog tired.  My brain feels at full capacity and I can't take any more in.  Could be work has been full on, sorting Summer holiday childcare; which for a teenager is a total black hole of nothing much for them to do.  Crafts and sports things are too babyish and tend to cater for up to 12 years old, then after that?  Nothing but................tumbleweed.  It's another job my husband sees as mine to sort; total neanderthal at times.  I stared into the fridge at lunchtime and could not combine what I saw into my head to make something, so I gnawed a bit off a block of cheddar.  When the boys were little I knew where the tiredness came from, babies/toddlers and lack of sleep.  Now I sleep but just seem to be always running for the bus every day and never getting on to sit down.  School camp outs, work annual reports, concerts, sports days, MOT, food shop, coil replacement, renew car insurance, on and on and on.  And OFMG don't some people talk shit?  They never stop chundering on making sound that eats away at my brain cells; I think we need a 'National Shut the Fuck Up Day'.  My most peacefull moment of late was pulling over in a country lane, I needed to blow my nose and the silence hit me, so very quiet, not one thing wanting my attention, even a cow merely glanced at me.  I need more moments like this but before that I have to put some washing on, ensure the Teenager does not have his mobile in bed and get my stuff ready for tomorrow.  Oh find the receipt so I return the boys new summer sandals as their feet have grown again.

Shut the Front Door.

There was a programme on C4 this week 'Born Naughty' looking if two children had something 'wrong' with them, to explain their behaviour, or if it was just because the parents were a bit useless?  I've often wondered this over the years, especially when I either of mine were kicking off about something or other!  However, after careful observation of some of the children I have seen since birth to now, I don't think we are born anything, but develop traits as they grow, (how and why is the big question).  One such boy has always been a thorn in my son's side since infants and was particular vile with the verbal’s this week at school that left my son in furious tears.  So much so I flipped my lid and told his mother when I thought via Facebook.  Not big, clever or wise, and my husband flicked off the Wi-Fi to stop any more. It was just years of not ever physical bullying or even banter, just mean and nasty verbal’s on and off.  The kind of sick and twisted stuff that made me think a mix of WFT / are you kidding me?  I'd just had enough of the ‘take the moral high ground/ignore them/talk it over/he's the one with the problem not you’ - blah blah blah.  But this time a line needed to be drawn.  My son was touched that I fought his corner from my corner and quite frankly gave this mother and her child what for.  My son needs to know and witness that I am there for him, no matter what, and learn more importantly some kids (and grown-ups) just need to be told to stop and shut the fuck up once in a while.  And said child has not said a peep to him since.

It's official; I I now have a teenager.

So, I've had a teenager for a few days now and now the excitement of cake, balloons and gifts has dispersed I can take it all in.  Lots has been said of the 'dreaded teenage' years already and I intend not to slip into a deluge of stereotypical cliches.  My plan is to see what happens and take it from there.  My overiding feeling is one of feeling warmth, proudness (I've decided that is a word) and quite astonished that I have this boy with size 9 feet, who has opinions about big worldy stuff and wants to go dive right into to life in general with gusto.  The same boy who still gets delight from a new packet of Wagon Wheels, who ensures his younger brother is always close and safe when out and about and who has been deeply saddened by his missing cat Jasper (4 weeks & couunting).  I love being a Mum for many reasons, some bits so far have quite frankly pissed me right off over the years and have been very tedious, but in the main I've enjoyed it and can't wait to see what the teenage years add to the mix.